Home Study: The Interviews

Over the course of the past few weeks, Victor and I have been interviewed together and individually by our social worker Wendy. The first session was with us together and the second and third were individual interviews.

You may recall that I was acting a little insane, thinking about how she might interpret the autobiographies we had to write, and thinking that she might over-analyze mine. One of the key takeaways from the actual interviews (as opposed to the scenarios that played through my head beforehand) was this:

Not a State Trooper

Wendy is just so sweet and understanding and had some really interesting insights about Victor and I.

One of the things I learned is that my husband loves me. And that I am a dingbat. Well, maybe I already knew those things: When we were asked what first made us fall in love with one another I thwarted female stereotypes by not being able to explain myself (perhaps because it is just so obvious, who wouldn't love the guy?) meanwhile, Victor talked about how when he first met me he found someone genuinely unassuming and innocent and for the first time he was able to open up and talk about tough stuff like his time in Iraq.

So serious. "Look like the face on the book!"
2008

Those who know him now might be surprised to know that Victor used to hardly share anything about anything with anybody. What can I say? I broke him. And now when we are in a social setting and he starts oversharing I have no one to blame but myself. I love you, husband.

And of course, when we first met and we were getting to know one another in the library at the University of Chicago, we also connected on a spiritual level. Both of us had Jesus Christ as our Savior, though we came to Him in very different yet similar ways and we found that this grounding was the seat of our deepest connection.

That, and finding an inside joke about fluffy cops and laser-eyed chinchillas hilllllllarious.

    

I think you just...had to be there to fully understand. We don't even really understand it anymore.

It is funny reflecting on those days when we first became best friends. Victor and I were really and truly great friends for while before we ever considered one another romantically, and when that idea surfaced it rose simultaneously with the knowledge that we would be getting married. We more or less went straight from being just friends to being engaged - Which is part of why it was tough to explain what made me fall for him in the first place - because I was the very last person to find out we were meant to be. When did I fall for him? The only times I can recall specifically are literal examples that prove nothing other than that I am a klutz.

Just Friends to Just Married...
and just knocked over their wedding cake.
2010

The main point of these interviews was for Wendy to better understand how our relationship works: how we support one another, how we communicate, and how we disagree. 

In our separate interviews, she asked us what values are most important to us that we want to impart on our child. Despite not having purposely discussed it beforehand, apparently we listed the exact same three items: our spirituality, respect for all people, and the importance of serving our community and neighbors.

So, not that we should have been worried but, as far as the interviews went: I think we passed.

Thank you for joining us on this journey!

Guest Post from Granny Shanny

So, in one of my latest posts I mentioned that we were about to have our couple meeting with our social worker. Remember I was all anxious about how she would interpret the things I wrote about myself? I blogged some of the worst parts from my autobiography and then I blogged parts from Victors autobiography. I was rather hyped up about this meeting with our social worker and made you really wonder what was about to happen at this meeting.

Well, the meeting happened...nearly 3 weeks ago. And the meeting was really interesting. However, work was kind of crazy in October and excuses excuses I didn't get a chance to write the blog post I had promised.

October wasn't all camel kissing, to be sure.
I was planning a Halloween family event at my museum that had
over 550 people in attendance. So excuses excuses I didn't
have much of a life outside of work...there was hardly even
any time to kiss camels!

Yesterday morning I finally found the time to sit down and write the blog post about that social worker meeting. Then my mother, who is visiting us this weekend, came out of her room and I realized a way I could get the job done much faster.

Well, I did.

I asked her if she would like to write a blog post.

And she agreed!

Then I realized that having a post from grandma-to-be would actually be really really cool and even better than writing my own blog post. She was recently sent a DCFS form asking for her opinion about mine and Victor's potential parenting skills. A post like that could give people a lot of insight into the adoption process and also how excited my mother is about us adopting.

Was that again, too much of the honesty? Saying that my first thought was a short cut and then the second was about how wonderful it would be to have my mother post?

Sorry.

Without further ado, here is my mother's post:

"Last week I completed the questionnaire from The Cradle requesting my feedback about what kind of parents I believe Moriah and Victor will be and what I perceive their relationship with each other to be. I must say, giving thought to these questions simply confirms that Moriah and Victor, and this child will be the luckiest triangle to form; everybody wins! (If we get twins, it would be a square, but considering the parents-to-be….well….a square would make perfect sense because in the coolest of ways, Moriah and Victor are rather square.)

Another of the questions inquired as to how many times each year I “see” Moriah and Victor. This was a tough question since we live in different states.   “Not often enough” didn’t seem like a desirable answer, but of course, I had to tell the truth.  However, I followed that answer with “however, with a grandchild in place, I WILL be making many more trips to Chicago.”  TRUTH!

As I visit with the parents-to-be in Chicago this weekend, following a fantastic work event an hour north of their home, I find myself developing the idea of having that “second pad” in the Chicago area. My new job will be bringing me to the state of Illinois – eventually, at least twice a month. I am thinking an apartment (for starters) would be economical compared to hotel stays for weeks at a time. 

Moriah jokes that they could convert the basement to an apartment for me….I’d have to channel Great Granny Annie to plumb in a bathroom downstairs…..but there are attractive benefits that would come with such a setup…(think Granny Shanny spoiling baby). However, I must shake myself back to reality and return to the journey and simply wait to see when the next forks in the road present themselves and how the journey will continue.

Regardless, I am grateful to God to be a part of this journey with Moriah and Victor. I am VERY excited about being Granny Shanny."

Many thanks to my mother for taking some time out of her busy visitation-of-me schedule to give some insight into the grandmother's perspective of the adoption process! I love you mom!

So the post about that social worker meeting is still forthcoming. Really.